I'm All-In On The Disgusting, Manic, Fever Dream That Is 'The Substance'
#290: "The Substance," "Damsel," "A Good Year," "Fresh"
Edition 290:
Hey movie lovers!
This week: An absolutely insane, bloody body horror movie with prestige ambitions that won me over. Plus the No. 1 most-watched movie on Netflix in the first six months of 2024, which happens to star my arch-nemesis. In this week’s “Trailer Watch,” Ana de Armas takes a swing at the John Wick universe.
The Substance
How’s your stomach for body horror? That’s an important question to ask before sitting down to The Substance, which might be one of the grossest movies I’ve ever seen (admittedly, I’m not well-versed in the genre). One person in my screening stood up and walked out after 15 minutes, which was probably for the best since things got a lot weirder after that. Two or three more left before its disgusting climax, which is so over the top that it actually elicits laughter from the audience.
This heightened grossness is, regardless of your or my feelings towards it on a visceral level, no doubt effective in communicating the message of this movie, which follows an aging TV star who taking a mysterious substance promising to make her young and sexy again.
Whether ‘the substance’ is a stand-in for Ozempic, Botox or any number of other serums popular in the real world, the satire of this culture of body hacking could only work if taken to it’s logical extreme (and in this case, way beyond).
There could not be an actor more perfect for this lead role than Demi Moore, possibly the most objectified actress of the past half-century. At age 61, she looks fantastic, but she also doesn’t look 20 anymore, so her desire to seek out the substance works on both a meta level and a narrative level. And her commitment to the part, beginning with nudity and descending into grotesquery, is absolutely worthy of Oscar nomination if not victory were the voting members of the Academy not so lily-livered.
Moore’s character, a jazzercize star, navigates through a strangely pulpy and empty Los Angeles dreamworld (more like nightmare world) where every male figure oogles and manipulates her (especially a network executive played by Dennis Quaid) until she takes her first injection, which causes her to collapse on the floor and an entirely new human is birthed out of a cavity in her back (if that description gives you the heebie-jeebies, strap in).
This new version of her is played by Margaret Qualley, someone I’ve long identified as a star in waiting who has proven multiple times that she’s unafraid to go for wacky, boundary-pushing material. This is probably her starriest role yet, as a young vivacious go-getter who quickly assumes a newer and better version of Moore’s character’s life. She brings otherworldly charisma.
I won’t spoil where it goes from there, but rest assured there are several more plot twists in store, as masterful thriller storytelling takes over from writer/director Coralie Fargeat (the first movie of hers I’ve seen) and each development plays out like the twisting of a screw.
Blood and guts aside, this movie ascends to the top three for the year for me (for now, though I’d say this is very gettable territory for no less than a dozen fall releases). It’s grounded, realistic moments effectively set up the themes the movie is interested in — beauty standards, societal pressure, ambition, addiction — and its absolute horror insanity pounds them home. The production design is truly outstanding, and the superb acting performances bring relatability to the outlandishness.
This is the second year in a row that I’ve fallen hard for an ambitious, manic fever dream (I really liked last year’s divisive Beau Is Afraid), which may say something about my changing movie tastes in the midst of our current landscape.
So many movies today are noted to hum-drum death. They’re predictable and safe, aimed at not offending the most amount of people possible and if they happen to entertain them a little along the way, that’s bonus. Clearly, I’m responding to the movies that put my head in a blender and overwhelm me with an experience.
If you’re willing to stretch outside your comfort zone (like way WAY outside, for most of you) then maybe you’d respond to this movie as well. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
Something New
Damsel (Netflix): Last week, The Big Red Machine released their viewership data for the first half of 2024. Want to guess what the No. 1 most watched movie on the platform was? Clocking in an astonishing 263.7 millions hours viewed, you guessed it…Damsel, starring Millie Bobby Brown. Longtime readers might remember the existential meltdown reviewing 2020’s Enola Holmes, MBB’s first big Netflix project, for which I freaked out over a 16-year-old producing a multi-million dollar Hollywood production just to fuel content for her Instagram feed.
That was under the assumption that MBB, with her 63 million Instagram followers, was more of a social media figure than a real actor. And while I continue to believe, strongly, that she has never developed quote-unquote serious acting skills beyond being precocious and charismatic, the success of this movie proves she is a bonafide A-list movie star (and trust me, being bad at acting has never stopped movie stars in the past).
So this week I lifted my self-imposed Millie Bobby Brown embargo to watch the movie that so many have already. It’s a story basically built upon a dime store paperback premise of wish fulfillment, plucking a period-costumed MBB (there’s no use pretending she’s playing a character) out of poverty and into a beautiful kingdom to marry a charming prince. But in the name of #girlpower and #feminism, the bad bad boys betray her and she must prove that she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man!
While this movie doesn’t have quite the same shamelessness as Enola, it does still have a YouTube-esque style accentuated by the cheap-looking CGI dragon and other fantasy elements that make the movie seem like an elaborate online skit. It’s not going to trick anyone into thinking it’s cinema, but a closer reading of the Netflix Engagement Report tells me that what people really want is second screen nonsense that they can turn on and not pay attention to, and in that category, Millie Bobby Brown is the princess who was promised.
Something Old
A Good Year (2006): Slightly overstepping my 20-year-old rule here because I watched a movie this week that felt ancient in its sensibility. You’ve got one of the most prestigious filmmakers of this generation, Ridley Scott, plus one of its signature movie stars, Russell Crowe, teaming up to make a nice but insignificant little literary adaptation. Nothing screams late-90s/early-00s DVD sales prop more than that.
This story about an investment banking shark from London who rediscovers the joy of his youth after inheriting an estate in southern France is a slicker more adult version of the kind of wish fulfillment porn I mentioned with Damsel. One brave man must make the difficult decision between making millions of dollars and being a playboy in London or drinking wine and dating Marion Cotillard in Provence. What a hard life!
What this movie has that Damsel does not is world class direction and acting making its story feel grounded, and enough exterior shots of French vineyards at sunset to melt any cynical heart of stone. It’s charming and I can’t pretend that I didn’t really enjoy it (even if my own spiritual romantic fantasyland of choice is Italy, as you all know, rather than France).
Something to Stream
Fresh (Hulu): Sebastian Stan is a guy who has never quite been able to make that final leap, either into A-list movie star or prestigious actor status. This fall he’s making the Sisyphean journey once again, with not one but two eclectic awards season hopefuls — the Donald Trump biopic The Appreentice and A Different Man — all while trailers roll for his Marvel return in Thunderbolts next spring.
The problem, as I see it, is that Stan is just way too good at playing assholes (this should work in his favor with the Trump movie). There’s no better example than Fresh, an overlooked indie from 2022 that works as a rom-com-gone-VERY-wrong mostly because Stan can be simultaneously charming and sinister (his counterpart, Daisy Edgar Jones, is perfectly cast as naive but capable). I don’t want to say any more for fear of spoilers, but seriously check this movie out if you haven’t yet, it’s a really intense little thriller.
Trailer Watch: Ballerina
This John Wick spin-off was set to hit theaters in 2024, but got delayed a year reportedly in order to beef up the action sequences (and add in some Keanu Reeves cameos). That could be seen either as a good sign — they saw blockbuster potential and wanted to go big — or a sign that the movie wasn’t good enough without them.
This trailer sure makes it look like the latter, capitalizing on the electric spark of Ana de Armas’ single scene-stealing James Bond pop-up role combined with the videogame logic of the John Wick universe to make a pulpy action thriller. It’s a way for the franchise to unwind some of the baggage and operatic heft of John Wick 4 while still riding its coattails. Sign me up.